Today marks the one year anniversary of my Mom's entry
to heaven.
I miss her as much today as I did when she first left us.
I remember those final days and moments with Mom.
She was in Scotland Memorial Hospital being treated for a
deterioration of the
lining in her lungs. She had never smoked.
Yes, she had worked in
a "cotton mill" for a few years of her life.
But there was no legitimate
explanation that we could understand
for the horrible condition of her lungs.
My sister Elaine, youngest brother Wayne and I
shared the opportunity to spend the last
of her conscious nights with her in the hospital.
We waited as the doctor came in and explained
absolutely nothing of value to
us.
The fluid was being pumped from her
lungs
and she had a couple of decent days.
But after the hospital staff placed a mask over her face to
"remove the carbon dioxide" from her system,
she lost consciousness and never
again was able to speak to us.
I had worked that day, but called the hospital
that evening and spoke with my Mom
prior to "the mask episode".
Her final words to me were, "I love you too."
That evening she was moved into the ICU unit of the
hospital,
but the doctor never once warned us that the time was near.
Only after the single compassionate nurse on duty
gave my siblings the warning
that the end was near,
did we fully comprehend what was happening.
My husband Dick, daughter Crystal, and I made the
175-mile one-way trip again that evening back to the hospital.
By the time that
we arrived, Mom was on a ventilator.
She was no longer responding to
anyone or anything.
Yes, we talked to her and rubbed her face gently.
Yes, she would have muscle spasms and an occasional look of pain
on her face.
But it was too late. She was never coming back to us.
I whispered
in her ear and asked her to take care of Loria for me
until I could get to
heaven to take care of both of them.
I kissed her face and told her I
loved her.
The only thing that kept me strong that night was knowing
that she and Loria would be together again.
As a secondary doctor explained to us during her stay in ICU,
the culprit was the
low-grade antibiotic that she
had been taking for the past 12 months,
which had been prescribed for recurring bladder infections.
~
MACROBID
~
No
one including the prescribing physician had warned us of the side
effects.
The doctor that finally broke the news to us said that he had
seen the same
effects (deterioration of the lining of the lungs)
in a 23-year-old college
roommate.
Yes, we have
some anger.
Yes, some questions will always remain unanswered.
Our
mom was 74 years old, but that doesn't mean it was her time to go.
Seventy-four is too young to die.
Now we must
go on without her.
It has been one year since Mom left us to go home,
but time has
not healed our hearts.
We don't know if that will ever happen. We
miss her presence.
We miss her "funny ways". We miss her cooking.
"Chrissy",
as Mom called her, misses her Grandma.
She was
renowned by many for her macaroni and cheese, stewed beef,
southern-cooked vegetables,
fried chicken, pork roast, pastry and biscuits.
She made the best iced
tea you would ever taste.
Her own weakness was sweets and she always
kept desserts
ready and waiting. From the banana puddings that she fixed
when I was a child to the peach cobblers I remember as an adult,
she was the
best when it came to dessert-making.
Mom would
give anyone the shirt off of her back.
She was kind and generous.
Like all Moms she had her "funny ways".
But with our Mom, they made her
more loveable.
I'd give anything to have her back.
I miss you Mom. Love, Susie
