The following poem was presented to me by a very special
person named Cathy Martin.  She would call herself my
cyber-friend, but she is so much more.  She's an
Angel on Earth and I know that Loria sent her to me.

My Angel has agreed for me to share these words
 with everyone in hopes that they may bring
some comfort to other parents that have
lost a child under similar circumstances.

Cathy, thank you for your kindness, friendship,
compassion and encouragement! I appreciate you.

~ Susan, Loria's Mom





I Wanted You To Know

I wanted you to know that when
I died you could not see
that even though it looked quite bad,
there was no pain for me.

My Spirit lifted up with joy
no longer bound to earth,
and in a flash, I saw my life,
all the way back to my birth.

It did not end there, to my surprise,
for there seemed to be more before "me".
The longer I looked, the more I remembered
the place you and I used to be!

I watched it all and it made great sense
as we planned our own lifetimes together.
The understanding just filled me with wonder
as I realized, we come from Forever!

We knew each other before this life
Mom, we’ll know each other again,
because of that, it matters not,
just how we die…or when!

Please know I did not end my life
so you could ever more
be haunted by the image of me
lying on death’s door.

I left because a deeper pull
had called me to return
back to the place where we all meet
at the end of each life, in turn.

When I got here, I promise you this ~
that God was not waiting in fury
because I had "pulled the plug" myself;
my judgment had gotten so blurry!

No, I was met with love and warmth,
at last, the relief that I craved.
The pain with which I lived my life
on earth, at long last, was staved.

So now I wait within the light
which created and keeps us all.
I feel no shame because I left,
please know that I’m still standing tall!

I now understand in a heartfelt way
what I lacked when I lived on the earth.
My perception could not pierce the fog of depression;
now, I finally see my own worth!

For I was one of the sensitive ones
feeling every vibration of pain
that resonates through the world today;
in the end, I could not take the strain.

Don’t misunderstand the words that I say
for life is both precious and dear!
Yet it goes far beyond the life that you know,
but you’ll see for yourself when you’re here.

Until it’s your time, you’ve been given the task
of carrying on with your life.
I plead with you now: Don’t make it about
feeling nothing but heartache and strife!

The blanket of pain that you wrap yourself in
is just what I left to avoid,
Please let it go, and I’ll somehow make known
my presence to fill up the void.

Though I know it is not in the way that you’d like
I can still be a part of your day,
but only if you can be brave enough to
let sorrow get out of the way.

For it serves to act as a wall that exists
between your awareness and me,
but the second it clears and you’ve healed your own heart,
in that moment is where I will be!

Though I’m finally at peace, I do worry for you,
I can see that you’re not finished grieving.
Releasing the pain won’t make you forget
but it may help you go on believing ...

That I never left, I’m right by your side!
I’ve tried hard to get your attention,
but your grief is a cloak that I cannot unwrap.
You must do it by your own intention!

I desperately need you to know one thing more,
that I do know how much you love me!
And, Mom, if you draw on your own inner strength,
your healing will set us both free!

~ from Your loving child in Spirit!


 



"I Wanted You To Know
© Copyright 2005 Cathy Martin and Loria's Mom. Unpublished works, all rights reserved.
Any reproduction, copying, or transmission in any format will constitute an infringement of copyright.
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